So I can not only get outside sometimes now, I can walk further, too. A few hundred metres, before I have to sit and rest; and then a few hundred metres more. But I can only go so far by walking very, very slowly – to keep my heart rate as low as possible, to minimise exertion. It has to be conscious, to move so slowly – to consciously hold yourself back, step after step after step. Using my walking stick helps (my beautiful grandparent-inherited wooden walking stick) – it’s a physical reminder, holding my hand (my hand holding it), swinging forward and tapping down, every two steps. And this has belatedly made me notice how fast so many other people walk – and realise that’s probably just how I walked, until 6 years ago. Our society is all about speed, about being busy, rushing forward into the future. Just about everyone overtakes me! and I take a form of pride in that – that I can discipline myself to do something that goes against the accepted way of things, something I need in order to help care for myself.

I’ve also noticed how few medical professionals slow down to match the pace I need. Almost every single doctor, nurse, consultant I’ve seen the last couple of years (probably 20 or so), who’ve met me in the waiting room and walked me to their office or treatment or scan room, has sped ahead of me – even though I’m walking with a stick, a clear signal that I have issues walking; even when I fall behind. When they look back, and I’m steps behind them, I deliberately say ‘I move very slowly!’ with a bit of a smile, hoping they’ll take the hint and slow down too, but almost every one of them cheerily says ‘don’t worry!’ and keeps on at the same pace, sometimes even disappearing into their room and leaving me walking alone, at the pace I need to keep. Except, for some reason, dentists – most of my dentists, and their dental assistants, seem to be much better at slowing down to walk more or less at my speed, looking back with concern to make sure I’m right behind them. 

Tip for medical professionals: walking at the pace of your patient when you first meet them can build an instant rapport, and an instant confidence from said patient in your skills. We see you able to notice our needs and adapt to them, before you even officially start treatment. If you do the opposite – don’t notice, or ignore, and don’t adapt to an obvious, and simple, need – my first impression is you’re someone I can’t trust to recognise or take account of more complex medical needs.